Confession

I've always been somewhat ambivalent towards the practice of confession. At my best i think it is a neccesary part of being forgiven. At my worst I think of it as a somewhat macbre hold over from medevial Christianity that saw its adherents flagelating themselves for being human: for having a body and using it. And so I avoid it; I phone it in on sunday morning and avoid it with my friends. The modern confession is "fine, everything's fine" or "no, nothing's wrong" and this is the deception I practice lying to myself and others.

Today in church something else happened. "We confess that we have sinned against god and our neighbor" and there it was out in the open. I stood naked before God and the church: a liar, thief, and hypocrite. And in that I fealt loved by God as if YHWH was staring into my soul and wisdon was holding me tenderly. We only are really loved when we let other's see us honestly. If only I can forgive myself..