A Life on Earth

Today I laid in bed through church.
I waited for her to call me.
I walked along the Susquehanna as the fog settled over it and couples walked their dogs.
A kid who was probably about fifteen gave me a free coffee refill in my favorite mug as if it was the only reasonable thing he could think to do.
I listened to a large somewhat scary man offer his opinion on the Paris Hilton sex tape "It wasn't worth $29".
I compassionately listened to the editor of "the alternative" say how writers get mad when he makes them sound like Ernest Hemmingway.
I read this: Most people now are looking for "a better place," which means that a lot of them end up in a worse one. I think this is what Nathan learned from his time in the army and the war. He saw a lot of places, and he came home. I think he gave up the idea that there is a better place somewhere else. There is no "better place" than this, not in this world. And it is by the place we've got, and our love for it and our keeping of it, that this world is joined to Heaven. ~Hannah Coulter

C'est la vie

Dream
I was supposed to be in a wedding this much was clear. But, for some reason I had missed important instruction. So when the procession filed in I was left confused and alone in a doorway at the far end of a cavernous hall. Just within eyesight the ceremony continued with friends and family gathered around. In the back, not knowing the chorography that seemed instinctive to everyone else, I watched helplessly as the ceremony passed me by.

The Open Space of Democracy

I think that my response to the Palestinian election returns is not different from many other U.S.ers ignorant of much beyind what we are fed by the media. "Huh?" Hamas apparently is a political party one with avibrant following. Many of us only know Hamas as a "terrorist" organization responsible for suicide bombings. We do not understand how an organization connected to violence against civilians can be so popular.

Pondering this question I did the appropriate thing in every situation--walk a mile in another's moccasins. I wonder how the Arab world fealt when Ariel Sharon, a convicted war criminal, was elected Prime Minister. Or how many in Latin America must feel about the veneration of Ronald Reagan: the man who was president when the United States was convicted of being a terrorist state after mining the harbor of Panama City. In the U.S. free market conservative cannot comprehend the international popularity of Hugo Chavez. To quote one of my favorite Simpsons nerds "This is the life we have chosen".

By choosing democracy we accept that many of us will have to live with a large amount of incredulity. We spend most of our political lives wondering what the heck other people are thinking. Most of us make political decisions based on what we believe is right. Our definition of right is usually what seems best for ourselves and our loved ones.

Where does this leave us? We find that rather than existing in some utopian state of Vox Populi, Vox Dei our lives are a caucophony of angels and demons (not intended as a Dan Brown reference) competing for our votes and trust. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Contrary to popular belief I do not think that a properly functioning democracy requires that participants leave their religious, ethnic, or geographic identity at the door. Rather I think that the only way democracy can function is if participants bring their identity to the table with the agenda of determining how they are to live with people of other identities.

Citizens of a democracy must accept that we will live in times when it is not our definition of truth that holds sway. We must practice patience and diligence. We must accept majority rule in our own and other countries while working for greater justice and cooperation. Democracy's do not have the right to forcible remove the democratic leaders of other lands (contra Mr. Robertson). But we do have the responsibility to not settle for anything less than equal access to whatever decision making mehanisms different societies utilize.

In democracy there is no easy comfort, no accepted yardstick of truth, and no substitute for justice. As we look out on the open space of democracy; this land we call home. We see few faces similar to our own (no matter who we are) instead we see strangers and friends, enemies and compatriots all attempting to make a home on this world. Togethor we continue our pilgrimage towards something or maybe nothing. One thing is certain the only way we will get anywhere is togethor. And maybe if we are traveling togethor, all the time completely befuddled by others choices and values, we are already there.

Since I have no idea what to do with my life I think I should write a book.

It'll be about theology/disipleship and material things i.e. how any proper biblical lifestyle requires a love for and care of the physical nature of the world. My initial idea is to seperate into three categories:

Flesh: Care of the body as well as the importance of sexuality
Dirt: The calling to care for a specific biological region and to practice proper husbandry
Stone: How Christians should care for our built environment i.e. beauty in design, green building, restoring and caring for what is already made

My goal is to dedicate this space towards making notes on these subjects. I request any comments general or specific that may be helpful

i'm thinking of giving up food for Lent...

"Don't ask yourself what the world needs ask what makes you come alive, because what the world need is people who are truly alive"
thank you Zach for giving me the proper finish

I'm wide awake, it's morning

Someone once said "Don't ask yourself what the world needs ask what makes you come alive". For the longest time I thought of this as the protypical hippie nonsense. But, lately I've started to think that I was wrong. I've spent the last two months working long hours for ACORN doing something the world desperately needs. And at the end of the day I fealt nothing but dead inside. I was almost completely divorced from the people and habits that sustained me. It's been a long time since I have read anything lifegiving. Over and over I found myself responding to the suggestion of someone I loved with "I'd have to quit my job to do that". So I did.

I am once again working in the Hearts and Minds basement sorting through books and I feal completely at home. I leave work feeling more alive then when I went in in the morning. I look forward to the next days task.

I've come to think that it's impossible to help others if I'm not healthy. I can't breathe into dry bones if I'm deflated. When I'm snapping at my best friends and pushing away people who care about me there's a problem.

So I raise me glass to artists and fools, to the open road and comfortable routine, to lovers and priests, to homemakers and all those who leave beauty in their wake.

As of now I take a vow against self righteousness. I reassert my priorities of church, family, friends, and home. My life should be about honesty and grace. I'm wide awake, it's morning.

I'm back, I'm sick, and I'm unemployed